To whom it may concern,

For all of you gucci wearing, lip gloss lacquering, makeup caking, hair poofing, nostril bearing, lip puckering, too good to talk to anybody but abercrombie models ho bags out there, this one is for you.

Regardless of how gorgeous you may think you are, how trendy you may be or how much money you may have, if you have ever experienced any of the following experiences, i would like to let you know that, in actuality, to a person such as myself, you are nearly as attractive as an obese man with a handlebar mustache.

-if you are too good to respond to the girl next to you when she asks what the teacher last said because you are 'in the middle of an important text'

-if you feel so inclined to walk into class ten minutes late then expect five people to move for you so that you can save a spot for your 'girlfriend' who is running late because she was having a hard time 'getting the right bounce' in her hair

-if you flip your hair when you walk by one of the clearly marked members of a university athletic team

-if your hair is bleached blonde

If you feel that you fit into this group please chisel the makeup off your face, put daddy's credit card down and try being human for a day.



Cheerio.